The Month of the Heart of Winter

the new leaf of January is my Month!

Category Archives: sentiments

so, where were we here?

happy birthday sista

Oh the sista’s 30 something birthday. Uhm, during her birthday weekend we went to Divi Market to rally around like the throng of Pinoy shoppers who loves bargains, huge discounts and what else the happiness of shopping spree without selling your kidneys. 😀 But because it was a Saturday, almost always a market day for everyone, the crowd was like a nightmare, there were people everywhere and you can’t even get something out of your bag readily. You’re pushed to walk and walk giving you not much time to lurk over pieces of those P20 items or those 3 for P100 items which in a way can pass as a nice Christmas present with the right paper wrapper and ribbon. We didn’t really stay long at Juan Luna even if Nanay felt like spending more time, after haggling for fruits and veggies we headed right away at the comfort of the air-conditioned Lucky Chinatown Mall nearby, besides it rained that day so we had no choice but to cover and feed ourselves because we’re famished with all the sweats and stinky smell of the surrounds, don’t get me wrong I love Divi by all means but not during this season.

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So, the supposed Chinese-y lunch was discarded and we went to Max’s for some comfort food –spring chicken, lumpiang ubod, sizzling tofu, macaroni salad and tocino, yes, SAM and I didn’t let the chance go by without sampling the breakfast fare, our favorite breakfast chow to be exact.

Going home that day was the next challenge, Leoncio was supposed to pick us up but seeing the horrible traffic I panicked (ok, a bit only), it would be a waste of time and energy and gas. So, I thought that GrabTaxi was the only savior that day, thank God for zero booking fees. Wee! 🙂 It wasn’t too hard to grab one because it didn’t took long for me to get a unit, however, it took us like forever waiting for him when in fact he’s already at Jones Bridge and we already walked like halfway of Quintin Paredes St. so we could meet halfway. Traffic was that horrible and annoying. Don’t mind to ask how much it cost from Divi to Mandaluyong, it was like more than double because it was clogged everywhere, even the side streets. I somehow pity the cab driver especially that he remained calm the entire trip despite the bottleneck. Arriving home, we felt drained so instead of getting ready for our next activity we slept the entire afternoon. Good thing that the weather was colder now because they didn’t complain much about the humid Manila weather.

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Next, by 6pm we’re heading to Ayala Center, we stopped at Rustan’s Supermarket first to have a quick snack but ended eating a lot of sushi, sandwich, salad and fresh fruits. Rustan’s Gourmet-To-Go is Love!  ♥

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I needed to buy the kid’s Chuck Taylor because I’m running out of time. The next few weeks will be even busier with commitments here and there. And because I felt a bit generous or I maybe I just thought it’s always nicer to give than to receive , I bought 4 pairs of that old-school Chuck Taylor for SAM, Pao, Ysa and Che. I almost fainted seeing the bill because it means I have to cut some of my personal luxuries for the coming weeks. Hay! Kayo na ang naka-terno ng shoes this Christmas…we didn’t skipped the recently opened H&M in SM Makati, the 3rd branch to open this year and most likely would be my most frequent branch amongst. I was supposed to buy Ysa’s dress but the styles were so-so, we ended up with that denim blue overall which was too perfect for our little girl. I got her a hooded jacket too. And Nanay a knit-sweater to appease her gloomy mood because she had no size of that studded sandals. And some few pieces of gift item for my goddaughters. I’m almost penniless that day after exiting the mall, it was like I was robbed but what money can’t buy was the happiness of those people close to my heart. They’re happy I know. 🙂

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And as if we’re contended of just spending the next day at home, we drove to Paseo de Santa Rosa in the afternoon to beat another traffic jam and to shop whatever was lacking –shoes for Leoncio, dress for Ysa, pants for Pao and to delight my eyes with all that gorgeous looking tops from the favorite outlet shop. Found It! But was too hesitant to take home that Christmas-white top because it was way my budget but I really love it and I’m hoping someone could get it for me, please, my size is 16. We didn’t have too much time and we have to skip the Christmas bazaar near Nuvali, after a quick dinner at Kenny Rogers we drove home. All I was able to take out was the corn muffins and Japanese corn, I feel so deprived and kawawa! 😦

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Even our “special pup” at home is looking forward to Christmas Day! 😛

The following work week was gruesome and will be more gruesome especially that year end and Q4 is nearing, there were also issues hanging around but hey, no one is stopping Christmas and the rush and all the preparations, and parties and get-togethers, and more expenses. Christmas would always be that one time of the year when I feel so energized despite of all the chaos (counting here the ominous atmosphere at the work place) that may pop in.

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By the way, we were home again last weekend, we had coffee on Saturday night, Tagaytay was so cold already. The following day, Leoncio and I went on some we-time as we hit Tagaytay by ourselves alone, no rush Sunday –coffee, Mahogany market, cheap gas.

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Also, I went to SGAAA (alumni association) on Saturday to see my groupie and to plan more for our very own batch Christmas party. It was nice to be back at the alma matter only that the alumni activity was quite sickening for me because I find it disorganized, I hope they’ll be able to pull out a good team soon because the grand alumni should be seamless and all.

Oh and before I forgot, someone came at the parental house last Saturday morning, swear to God that I didn’t recognize him, I thought he’s someone from the barangay who’s asking for financial support or whatever, you know my Nanay is becoming the savior of these pesky people who’s thinking is we have this money tree of sort that anytime they need to they can easily run to her. When all but my sister and I assumed he’s just one of them, we were very wrong! I know I haven’t written any of him here because he was part of my past, naks! 25 years ago? Let’s go back a bit of high school, he was my one and only crush because he was cool and stylish, talk about new wave and he’s everything it! 😀 I even remember attending Sunday mass regularly because he’s there. And because he knew I crushed him he even sent me a letter way, way back, ok not the love letter I expected, it was sort of a friendly letter only, which I kept for years. Though for sometime it kept me wondering also that maybe some of my friends forced him to do it.  Even after finishing high school, I still find him cute? I still crush him until I found some cute college boys at the university. And by the time I landed a decent job in Makati I’m completely over him because I was crazy infatuated with Ely B. But what puzzle me now, what happened to him? What happened to the boy I crushed for a long time? Of course, he became a man, he became a husband and a father, only that life wasn’t too friendly for him, maybe because he too has his own time lag, he let go of the good opportunities, if ever there were. Maybe he made none-sense of his life during the early years and wasted too much on something, maybe he didn’t treasure people around him that’s why he’s left alone now. Really, I have no idea of what had happen to him and I’m no longer interested to know as well but it bothers me a bit because he looks so old and grimy, no trace of his being in good shape before. I somehow pity the guy this time but I leave everything to God now, may he find his soul back on track. Well, on a side note, I wonder now if he feel a bit of regret after seeing me, bakit naman kase naka-pajama pa ako when he saw me eh, he should had seen me in my boyfriend jeans and my newly ironed-curls later that day, I bet he’d feel more sorry of himself. Ikaw kase eh! Oh well, life is roller coaster and the world is very small so the chance of bumping with people in the past is very probable. He left soon after Nanay handed him a little cash, what a shame? 😦

So what do you know, this forthcoming weekend is very special, Leoncio and I will be marking our 9th wedding anniversary. There is one solid plan to date and I hope it would push without any holdup. And just in case I won’t be able do the anniversary post because I’m busy and drained by then, here’s something for you my dear husband.

Our 9th year came too fast, I was like doodling and dawdling and before I knew it another 365 days of our married life went by. I have many things to thank God this year, foremost, because He gave you a new job at the start of the year and He continued to bless me everyday at work despite the challenges, despite the frustration everytime I’ll receive my paycheck. But despite that little earnings this year, we never felt deprived, we were able to shop to our heart’s content, we were able to dine at our favorite restaurants and we were able to make short distance travels by and by. I thank God that we remained hale and hearty except to some flu and gastric disorders. I thank God that we survived the journey, even childless at this point, we never felt incomplete and miserable.

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‘Ney, I know in my heart we have a long way to go, we have too many more battle to win and we have too many roads to travel. And let me take this chance to say sorry for the many times I yelled at you for no big reasons at all, for the many times I ignored you, for the many times I acted egotistic, for the many times I excused myself doing the laundry and the dishes and for the many times you felt I put you down. You just don’t know how much I love you and how I value us, that waking up with YOU everyday is my only bliss. Happy Anniversary ‘Ney and may God continue to shower our marriage with trust, faith, loyalty and constancy. 

 

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exactly my thoughts…

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 *all photos via web 

 

thursday woes

I’m not harsh just because I want to, you see, my becoming mean these days had something more to do with the feedback and response I’m getting here and there. It has something to do with people I dislike and the things I dislike about. I don’t normally hate people just because I’m feeling negative about them, all this hostility had its grounds for all you know and it’s grim, that at times I’m feeling the blues. Sometimes I feel that my being stern on policies and SOPs these days is becoming over the top and some people may get the wrong signal but it’s my own way of coaching and reminding them off that it’s no easy job at all, everything should count and it’s not because you’re an old timer you get a pass to excuse your negligence. I don’t like to procrastinate when work is involved. Finished off whatever you can today and don’t call off the day with issues unsettled. I tell you, we have nothing to talk and we’re good if everything falls into its place. Now, if you can’t stand my system you’d free to go, the door is wide open, and I’m no longer emotional of losing anyone because there would be someone out there who’d be more willing to take the opportunity and challenges of the job. So, don’t threat me with that intent to seek a greener pasture because I’m not gonna hold back any or anyone this time. 😐

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the rammasun & me

It’s been 2 days ago since the super Rammasun battered the metropolis and the nearby provinces including my very own hometown. The day before, we had too much work load at the work place that despite the typhoon warning and all I was kept occupied, I was more concerned about our impending cargoes, I was worried that deliveries would delay further because of this looming bad weather. So while everyone was packing up early for home last Tuesday I was like running with time to keep everything settle before calling off the day. I’m anticipating the worst.

On the early morning of Wednesday, I received the HR advisory about work call off. I was thankful that at least I don’t need to combat the gray skies and strong winds and the heavy downpour. I can just tuck myself to bed the entire day like Saturdays and sleep to my deepest but my worries rushed back after seeing my other half preparing for work. How come ‘ney? I hate it but I had to say all over again my speeches. Are you the President of your company? Will your company lose millions if you’d stay home for the day? Your employer would definitely understand if you can’t come today, just look at the news everyone is advised to stay home. But my supposed pleading to him to stay didn’t work, he can’t say no to people who trusted him and his competence. He assured me that he’ll be home early, that’s it and he went his way.

I was left at home when the Rammasun was fiercely felt, the wind was howling like this swirling storm inside, yes for a while you’d thought about the Frozen theme, it’s too apt for what was felt right then and there minus the snowing. I stayed in bed facebooking and getting the latest tweets, at least I’d be alerted if Pasig River overflows and the need to evacuate will be enforced. Sorry I’m just a bit paranoid but even if Pasig River overflowed during Ondoy’s time there was no need for us to leave home because our building is a bit elevated from the main streets. I was also eavesdropping the neighborhood, it gave me a little feeling of security that everyone around is watchful at least I have some people to run to, just in case something horrible happen. Thank God there’s none and our home was spared from any damage.

My family in Cavite was spared as well from any future repairs and expenses only that until now electrical power have been knocked out and water supply is very limited. While everything back home remained in chaos (because of blackout) my worries were minimized because the governor declared no classes, at least the kids were just around and Nanay had some help while managing the household, including my fur-babies of course. Bei was fine and Boi remained emotionless when I checked on them last night, tho during the typhoon my sister told me how Bei even feared the sound of the typhoon and that she was extra-clingy while the typhoon was raging wild. I can only wish I was around to protect her and assure her that everything is going to be fine. Momi woes.

At the end of this week, I realized how fortunate I am still that despite a super typhoon, despite life’s miseries, despite the scarcity of material things and all, I’m alive, I breathe with every heartbeat and I’m absolutely complete with two feet, two hands, I’m in my soundest mind and in my liveliest spirit. I thank God for the wisdom everyday, for His shield of protection and His loving arms, sometimes it makes me feel guilty that I have enough yet I still ask for more.

Dear God, another work week is about to end, as we welcome the weekend may you continue to protect us from another typhoon coming in, may you give us strength to carry through amidst all these calamities, may you bestow us a happy yet sensible spirit and may we continue to live in faith everyday of our lives. I pray for the typhoon victims, I pray that they may find you still in their hearts despite the loss of their homes and their love ones. I pray that they may overcome the sadness or even the dearth of everything right now. I pray that they may recover soon and have a better chance in life. May those who are injured, those who are weak and those who are sick receive your healing power in no time.

And for the tragic death of more than 200 passengers of MH17, may their innocent souls find peace and justice be served.

Amen.

P.S. I leave you this now…

Happy-Weekend

*photo via