The Month of the Heart of Winter

the new leaf of January is my Month!

my Inay’s passing away…

Eight days ago, the “ber” had officially started and just like the previous year, I want to be out as I welcome and witness mall happenings during this time. During Saturday of the recent weekend, husband and I were supposed to drive at Megamall however; I have fever so we stayed home. And while tuned to the evening news, I learned that MOA had already lit their giant Christmas tree. I missed that event too. I wonder what it’s like in Ayala Avenue as some part of the metro had already started their Christmas. I remember that same time last year the lanterns were already lighted too.

In Greenhills, they are now starting to put up the COD display, which we frequent every year. Christmas would soon be everywhere and I need a big change before the 100 days countdown begins. That was all my thought during Sunday morning maybe before I got the shocking message from my sister.

My Lola, whom everyone called Ina or Inay, was rushed to the hospital of asthma attack and that she was admitted at the ICU later on. I thought the case was ordinary and probably she just needs medical attention. I thought she would be okay soon, I thought I could still see her the following week. Little did I know that the whole of Sunday, the whole family had been weeping for her because she was declared later on as brain-dead and that she was on a life support equipment 😦 I was crying the whole time husband and I were on our way to Makati that Sunday night. I felt pain of losing someone I didn’t get even to say goodbye for the last time. 😦

Inay had been staying with us (with my family in Cavite) for a month or two now after she was released from her last hospitalization. I last saw her on Aug 30, I didn’t bother to say goodbye before we left Cavite that night because every time I do she would insist of going home to her house. She would want us to bring her home however; it was not advisable because of her condition. So every time we would leave the house, we make sure she will not notice us. I look forward on seeing more of her and enjoy TV moments with her. I adore her that at her age, her memory was still very sharp. I wish I will age the same way she does.

It was Monday at noontime; I got the message of her passing away. I was shaken. I wasn’t ready for that. Unlike last year, when Ninang Elo passed away, everyone was ready. Everyone was prepared because her fight with cancer was a long one. Today, I mourn for my Lola.

I saw her wake last Monday night and I wanted to see her everyday until the last day of her wake, I only wish it were possible. I can only be with her again on Friday, which will be the last day of her wake. And come Saturday, it’s time for that final goodbye.

with my Inay during her 87th birthday

Ina, I would miss you on occasions, I would miss you on Christmas and New Year. And all the wonderful summers I spent at Limbon would be remembered. Thank you for being one great Inay to all of us!


5 responses to “my Inay’s passing away…

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