on friends and friendships

I wanted to write something about friends, friendship long ago but I do not have any specifics in mind. Should I say purely all good things?

January is such a hard person to please according to people who little knows me, so, beginning a friendship with me is like you need to pass a needle’s hole. A big NO! It’s the off beam perception of many because they find me snobby, because I am firm doesn’t mean I play hard. I am the typical who loves long talks, topics can go anywhere except that please do not bore with subjects like Me, Myself and I. I hate people whose egotistical, so, be a little cautious because I have a little patience too. You don’t want a spiky look from me .

I told you I am easy however, don’t befriend me because you just have to. I am very sensitive to that, I would know the extent of your sincerity so don’t expect me to return in kindliness.

I easily appreciate, people who are unassuming, sensible and considerate. There wouldn’t be a perfect friend but there would always be a genuine being.

And in my 30 something existence I am fortunate to have a small number of friends, a small number of people who truly stay behind unchanging despite the complexity of life, despite a momentarily setback, notwithstanding falling-out. I don’t need a battalion of friends to say I am a humane, I just know how to set aside the rotten from the unblemished ones. It’s my pick; so, don’t make a case out of it.

Generally, I don’t want to label the connection as this may end up useless in the long run. I don’t want to call you “buddy” today and soon after refer you as my “frenemy”.

“Frenemy: A portmanteau of the words fr(iend) and enemy, the term frenemy refers to someone who pretends to be a friend but actually is an enemy—a proverbial wolf in sheep’s clothing in the world of friendships. This is also known as a love–hate relationship. Most people have encountered a frenemy at one time or another in the same places one might find friends—school, work, the neighborhood. The term frenemy was reportedly coined by a sister of author and journalist Jessica Mitford in 1977, and popularized more than twenty years later on the third season of Sex and the City. While most research on friendship and health has focused on the positive relationship between the two, a frenemy is a potential source of irritation and stress. One study by psychologist Dr. Julianne Holt-Lunstad found that unpredictable love–hate relationships characterized by ambivalence can lead to elevations in blood pressure. In a previous study, the same researcher found that blood pressure is higher around friends for whom they have mixed feelings than it is when they’re around people whom they clearly dislike.”  <source: wikipedia>

I guess no one wants a heart failure after all.

Remember that,

1) Good friends encourage their friends to lead more healthy lifestyles;

2) Good friends encourage their friends to seek help and access services, when needed;

3) Good friends enhance their friends’ coping skills in dealing with illness and other health problems; and/or

4) Good friends actually affect physiological pathways that are protective of health.

Lastly, I value genuine friendships. Those that are characterized with honesty, trust, empathy, and reciprocated positively. I value friends, whereby I can be myself and make mistakes without fear of judgment.

 

P.S.  Why I am doing this random post? To show my little appreciation to people who have been good and warm as years go by !